Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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