I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
