i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
