It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
