Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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