She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
