Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
