its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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