I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So much rum. So many feels.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
