no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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