its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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