I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
