can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
