So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
