I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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