mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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