1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize