capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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