Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
