The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
