i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
