I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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