They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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