hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
