Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I want to have your abortion
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
