Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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