I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
