went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
