I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is the high leading the old right now
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
