ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Everything about him screamed your future.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
