Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
