he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
