Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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