Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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