But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
