I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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