I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
