He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
