someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
