So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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