i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
