My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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