A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
