She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
