it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
