i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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