I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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