Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
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the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize