I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have fence marks all over my body
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.