Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.