is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
