clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
