Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
