I need help removing her.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize