tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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