hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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