Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
