Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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