Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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