WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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