So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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