I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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