also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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